• Rose

Finding the Christmas spirit while doing Saturday morning chores. I don't think this went as planned

Saturday mornings I get up, take the dogs out, make coffee, drink coffee, think about all the things I need to do within 48 hours, drink more coffee with at least two smokes, walk into the kitchen and think 'do the floors really NEED to be mopped two times a week?'. In a house with 3 dogs- yes it does! But first! I need to wrap Christmas presents because my family gets a little peeky if I am not careful. I recently spy'ed Kekoa going through my office looking for his Christmas present that he didn't know he wanted. Jokes on him- I hid all the real presents in the cleaning closet knowing that NO ONE will go in there but me.

Two hours later- presents are wrapped and stacked on the Christmas table because its the only place that I can put them without the dog eating them. Christmas table sounds like a legit thing- right? I had my ear phones in, music playing and off I went to do my Saturday morning chores while everyone was still sleeping. I finally got done mopping all the floors and Polar took that opportunity to let me know that he doesn't like clean floors that smell like Pine Sol evergreen...by shitting on the floor. What an amazing and well behaved dog I have. Really, he is the joy of my life. Like this week he completely ate all the stuffing out of my couch legs and spread it around the house- it was like waking up to a snow covered living room. Joyful! He also decided that the Christmas tree was placed in the wrong area- and moved it TWICE for me to the center of the living room. Polar now needs to be locked in the room at night so he doesn't eat everything- so last night I got to sleep with him and duchess on my legs, taking all the covers, and then they farted on me. I tell you, my Christmas spirit is really high right now!

Notice the doggy spray? Taking no chances!

This leads me to this blog. I was at my wits end- I need the Christmas spirit. My family doesn't have it- they just want to get to the presents. So I looked up 'best way to get into the Christmas spirit'- go Google! All ways my fall back. So here we go- my answer to Pinterest's list....

1. Listen to Christmas music- I turned on my Pandora and found the Christmas Morning channel- and on pops Rudolph, The Red-Nose Reindeer by Gene Autry. Okay, I am beep bopping. I am getting there!

2. Fill your home with scents of Christmas- okay, I have the smelly good plugs in---I got up and set them around the house. The smells of evergreen and baked apples. Check. Duchess farts again. That's great! Thank you Duchess!

3. Cut down your To-Do list- okay! I am sitting at my desk with my handy-dandy Steller Calendar....lets see what I can cut our next week! Looking at all my stuff to get done, bouncing it off my Outlook calendar with work, cross-bouncing it with my to-do list for Holiday for Heroes Part 1 and 2 and Christmas for Veterans! I can cut out 3 hours of sleep every night between 1am and 4 am, use that to work out and work on my book, and that will save me 1 hour a day to be used to shovel the snow which would normally happen at 6am. Then if I just shop on-line for groceries, that will save me 3 hours that I can use to change out the bathroom light bulbs that blew out 2 weeks ago but I haven't had the energy to care, and pick up the frozen doggy poop that I haven't done in two weeks. I got this!

4. Get into the Christmas spirit by asking for help! Ok. Can someone please help me with puppy Polar? Please. Just send coffee and Prozac!

5. Decorate something for 20 minutes. Done! I do that everyday when Polar decides to redecorate and eat Christmas decorations. That is not helping! This one is going into the trash. By the end of this season- I am not going to have anymore decorations.

6. Read the true story of Christmas. Okay! Looking for my bible. Its old, its pink, its from when I was a teenager. Where did I put it? Oh that is right- puppy Polar ate it about 2 weeks after we got him. I am thinking that he was not filled with the Spirit of goodness and he must have missed the chapter that says something about obeying.

7. Watch a Christmas movie. I can do that- Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer. Kekoa said he would watch it with me today, after we watch Hamilton the Musical. Of course- I need to fix the couch real fast so that we can sit on it. But that means I need to go to JoAnne's to get more stuffing and heavy duty leather tape to fix the holes. I also need to get a new hot glue gun, stop by the grocery store to get more hot chilies for the spray to keep Polar away from it, and vacuum and steam clean the couch because Polar peed on it when I walked downstairs and he knew that I was going to be mad. While I am there, I might as well get my grocery shopping done- so there goes 6 hours of the day. Maybe we will save the Christmas movie for next weekend!

8. Drive around and look at Christmas lights- in Alaska, there are only Christmas lights up if the home owner remembered to put them up in October before the ground and air froze. And, if they were anything like me- that seemed like a lot of work in October, or they were ignored by the family when it was mentioned that we should maybe do it. I have Christmas lights- they have been in the attic in its original packaging for 2 years now- just begging to be used, but never are.

9. Paint your nails red! Anyone who knows me, knows that this a year round thing for me! Done!

10. Go for a walk. Ha! Does walking to the mail box, grocery store, and taking the trash out count? What about shoveling the snow? That should count right?

So, what was that? 3/10? Nails are red, I re-decorate at least once a day, and I asked for help! Christmas sprit here I am- I am waiting, I am ready, please come visit soon! Anyone else having a hard time?

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