Yesterday was my first day off in months, maybe years. Feels like generations. Okay it was only 11 days, but you understand my feeling of complete tiredness and lack of motivation to do anything. But, I had a list. Things that needed to happen. 1. Finish the laundry; 2. mop the floors; 3. clean up the puppies hiding spot that is currently holding 4 rolls of toilet paper, 3 bills that should probably be paid, and all of my socks; 4. finish winterizing the house windows because every morning there is a thin layer of ice over my car. Simple list but slightly time consuming. I even wrote it out on my phone and put a alarm on so I would stay focus.
What did I do? I went to Walmart and got my youngest a new t.v. that works, a new 3" cooper infused bed topper that is suppose to make me feel 20 again, and mascara; Barnes and Noble for books on topics that I am researching; and helped my middle child take some garbage to the dumb. Actually, I watched him do that and kept him entertained with funny Facebook mems. I then spent the afternoon on my couch researching/reading in-between my naps. I also helped my youngest edit his school paper and realized that he is a better writer than me. That led to some day drinking, let me tell you.
Perfect day right! Until last night! Let me ask you a question- ever been in a fight with a person you know and think afterwards- 'oh, I should have said this!' Yup that was me. All night, I replayed a 5 minute argument 37 different times all with the same outcome- me standing on a podium, getting a award for the most perfect come-backs. What really happened? My family and I ended up at Fat Burger at 7:30 getting dinner. I did not win the fight. I was voted off the island. I had to walk the plank. Normally, this would not bother me, well, it still doesn't. But it got me thinking. What was the fight really about?
I don't know. I think that is what hung me up the most. But women are nasty fighters. We will invite you into our homes and talk behind your backs. We will invite you places and to events just to make the situation awkward. We will be nasty just to be nasty and have something to talk about later.
Well, no more! I am taking back my power. I am going to be the better person. I am just not going to engage. Easier said then done- right? If it was that easy I would have not been tossing and turning on my lovely 3" cooper infused bed topper feeling like I aged 10 years. This is what I have decided this morning- I care, but not enough. I am okay if a friendship is not forced, I don't have to be nasty. I will not be nasty. I will continue to write my blog, gain new friendships and nurture the friendships I do have.
Besides she didn't make a good pot of coffee....